I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
