I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
