btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
