Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
