I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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