Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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