Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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