your thong is hanging out like whoa
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
