So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Randomize
