She's JV to your varsity
I feel like abortions should bother me more
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
