Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
