He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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