I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
