I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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