I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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