She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You are a genius and a whore.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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