Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
It's never too late to be topless.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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