ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I'm lost and stupid without you.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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