i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
handjob tips. give me some.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
