the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
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