Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
