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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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