considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
