You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
