im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
