A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
He told me they were just razor bumps!
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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