Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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