But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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