grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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