and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
