Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
