Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
