On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
