we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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