he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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