Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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