I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
