That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
