i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
