doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Randomize
