Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
