I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
