garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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