Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
