that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
