after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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