my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
