how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
