Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
