you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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