conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
