Quick, to the slutcave!
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
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