Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
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